weride2fight

Yesterday Brad & I went to Idewild Park. [I don't know how to spell it]. It was alright, I got tired. Then today we went to Melanie's for a little bit for a cookout for her birthday.

Blah. So sick of being tired and sick.
On the upside, Mikey is coming out on Tuesday for a day. I'm pretty excited about that. I hate that he lives an hour away, but I guess that's  not too bad.

I don't know what else to say, so byeeee.

Sunday night I woke up from my sleep to the worst abdominal pain I have ever had. I enventually went back to sleep thinking it would go away. Well, Monday morning came and it got worse. I tried laying around for a bit, but I just couldn't take it anymore. Will dropped me off at the ER and I was in the hospital for 5 hours. My diagnosis was PID. Pelvic Inflammetory Disease. [sorry if I misspelled that]. I got it from having a bad bacterial infection [I know, gross] and I was more at risk because I just had my son 10 months ago and still considered Post-Partum. I was given two scripts, one for an anti biotic and the other for pain killers. It was still bad today, so if it doesn't get any better I'm going back to the hospital tomorrow for a CT scan. I hate the way these pain killers are making me feel right now. I feel like I'm going to puke. It's gross.

So Will is looking for places. He is moving out soon. I think it's for the best though. Fighting in front of our son is not a way for him to grow up. I know I will be sad, even though I don't have feelings for him anymore like that, I still really care about him. I wish the best for him. We are doing partial custody, so the time is evenly split between us.

Speaking of Brayden, he is getting so big. On the 6th he whill already be 10 months. He has such a mischeivious personality. He laughs so cute, he tries to walk, he's getting bigger, eating more, has almost two teeth. It's amazing how it feels to be a mom. I couldn't imagine where I would be right now if I hadn't got pregnant. I know I would still be on a shitty path. It takes a huge change to change yourself. And I am happy this is what I got. I didn't deserve to have such a perfect son, and now I couldn't ask for more.

Every time someone tries to get close to me, I have this bad habit of trying to make them angry or not want anything to do with me or by saying rude things.I like to make them think I am crazy.  I've been fucked over so many times, and  I don't blame it totally on the other person. I trust too easily. I tend to push people away in fear of getting myself hurt in the end. So, I save myself the trouble and end it before it ever begins.

I hope I don't do that this time.
Because I think I could really like this person.
He makes me smile, it's nice.